Deconstruction
I read a couple of comic blogs this weekend that were very entertaining! The Comics Curmudgeon offers critical analysis of the latest drug-related Mary Worth story, and The Silent Penultimate Panel Watch is a sonogram for those next-to-last panel pregnant pauses.
40 Comments:
I want a go!
"My friends and I will violently assault you solely due to the acronym we have chosen for our radio station."
WKYA (Will Kick Your Ass) - Redman
This is too much. My turn!
"I pick up women, slap them around, garnish their... ahem, 'wages', and I totally love it."
Big Pimpin' - Jay-Z
I am not sure if I did this right...
"We enjoy eating a lot of food, especially at local buffets that are not costly."
All You Can Eat - Fat Boys
Oh man I was totally inspired by the alt text and personal hatred to make this. I suppose it is outside linking, but dudes, What Would Weedmaster P Do?
http://www.petitiononline.com/badsong/petition.html
"You lack the ability to grasp this.
You lack the ability to grasp this.
You lack the ability to grasp this.
You lack the ability to grasp this.
Halt! The hour of the mallet is upon us!"
MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This
Radiowar's winning so far.
"Los Angeles is a dangerous place!"
Welcome to the Jungle- GnR
"We will rock you"
Queen- We Will Rock You
"Crescendos are Extremely Awesome"
Every Post-Rock Band Ever
Emergency Services are funny!
Arise! Lay, lay prone!
Emergency Services are funny,
In our urban home!
911 is a Joke, P.E.
Word
don't mean to bust your bubble
but girls of the world ain't nothing but trouble
so next time a girl gives you the play
just remember my rhyme, just remember my rhyme
take heed to my rhyme and get the hell away
Act Five, Scene Two of Othello by William Shakespeare (condensed)
"I am so pretentiously obscure, that one would do well not to venture into my presence, for all parties present are altogether lacking in indie cred, relative to the monolith of obscurity that I represent."
"Indier than Thou" - MC Frontalot
I hope that's passable.
Petition Guy: master p doesn't use punctuation it stops the mental flow jelly beans are awesome.
what about that club favorite:
"visage facing downward
your derriere upwards
thats how we enjoy fornication"
-unknown (because i dont pay attention to song's titles or authors)
2 Live Crew, man.
This might be the new "songs in list format".
"While my artistic contributions have been marginalized of late, their quality has not declined. My mother suggests that I defeat you with fisticuffs; I intend to defeat you with fisticuffs."
"I have no quarrel with having intercourse with you. However, I take umbrage with you failing to do so. I will provide for you, seeing as that you claim to have bourne my offspring. We are both fully aware this is prevarication."
- Got Your Money, ODB
Grotesquely fat man, are you not aware
That upon occasion I am entranced by your utterances
And I look favorably upon your feigned extravagance
Which, I suppose, is why others have no apparent prospects for the future, while you, on the other hand, bask in your opulance
-Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
you are a healthy-sized and attractive female adult. is it a possibility that you might soon transport your gluteal area in a reverse manner toward me?
(All the lyrics to "Big Butts", because it's that straightforward)
-THE EXALTED SIR MIX-A-LOT HAS SPOKEN
my milkshake brings many suitors to my property
and they remark that it is far better than your's
Most definitely, it is better than your's
I can offer you instruction; however, i will need to charge
I am the greatest person in history.
Jay-Z (pick any song at random)
All of you that engage in intercourse with your mothers, i strongly dislike you. It is my wish that you expire slowly. Use of my handgun will ensure that all of your children will expire before they reach adulthood.
Tupac - Hit 'em Up
Lately people have been having conversations which they consider purposeful. However, this is not the case; their discourse is nonsensical because they have forsaken Dr. Dre and are, incidentally, copulating with their mothers.
"If you insist on not paying my employed lady-of-the-night, I will engage you in physical combat. Incidentally, I am from Memphis, where this occurs all the time. Rest assured you will pay."
--Whoop That Trick, DJay
Sorry about the length - the song is deep.
"Look at me, I created rap. My rhymes flow like harpoons. Flowing harpoons. I am a bit radioactive and fungal and I break audio equipment.
My taste in ice cream is predictable.
I catch slow kids and set them on fire. My bipolar disorder is triggered by loud noises. I am rude to women. Sometimes, I make people angry and they shoot at me until I go away. So I tell the police on them.
I repeat, my taste in ice cream is predictable.
I am a poet. In case you didn't know it. My music may physically harm you. I've never heard of music composition and find the notion scary. My associate also breaks audio equipment. Sometimes the microphone interferes with the metal plate in my head and I spill my drink.
I have to go now."
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby
"Arise! [Rise up right now]
Arise! [Rise up right now]
Remain in this locality as though you were a fornication automaton."
Get up (I feel like being a) Sex Machine - James Brown
Alright, that wasn't so much a deconstruction as a paraphrase, so here:
"I am an extremely creepy stalker"
Every breath you take - The Police
"My nonsensical rhyming skills are unparalleled" - any song by Beck
Driving my automobile down the avenue, Smoking and inhaling incredibly intoxicating cannibus, Slowly and precariously ingesting a mixture of alcohol and fruit juices, Lost in thought about my financial matters.
-Snoop Dogg, Gin and Juice
I an alteration of my name would associate me with being of fine taste
My body is as attractive as something potentially violent
I attend the recreation and exercise center to continue toiling on my body's muscular capacity
This fellow is attestant to this (Indeed)
My existence causes your male significant other have an erection
And he will wait in single file
For the opportunity to observe me and my assets
IV, III, II, I
-Fergalicious, Fergie
This comic is part of Bill Maher's stand up act. :)
leave it to a white guy to suck all the fun out of hip hop. D:
"Remain in this locality as though you were a fornication automaton"
haha "Fornication Automaton."
For the record I am approximately 1/16 African.
This is but an activity associated with the seventh letter of the English alphabet, my infantile friend; two disreputable gentlemen of African heritage, descending into madness. The company which remunerates my musical endeavors is named after a holding area for condemned murderers. Our artistic creations cannot be imitated, so let me sarcastically recommend that you refrain from any such futile attempts.
-Dre/Snoop
Ain't Nuttin' But A G Thang
If you go far enough back J-Ro we're _all_ African.
And no, that wasn't rap, although I could make it into one if you'd like.
IMHO:
"the hour of the mallet" wins hands-down so far....
"X is uninterested in you reaching a conclusion unaided and will actively seek you out in hopes of enlightenment."
DMX - X Gonna Give It To Ya
Damn I'm enjoying this thread!
"
yes, yes, yes, yes
deliver it to me immediately,
deliver it to me immediately
I'd very much like to dra-dra-dra-drag my tongue from your skull to your heels,
and I'd also like very much to migrate our activities from the davenport to the substratum,
and further more, oh, oh, you are so actively skilled at creating this, as you do, I daren't fly.
But I must di-di-di-discover what's your secret desire.
What's your fantasy - Ludacris
Person similar to a fithy child
Are you in proper viewing of these wrist confinements?
Person of youth I am of subservience to you
I would allow you the pleasure of flogging me if I darest act outside of desired actions
Due to the fact that there is a lack of others who cause such a reaction in me
Please escort them to the refrain of this ballad
-Sexy Back, Justin Timberlake
:( I got to the party late. I want to make a poem/song too.
Perhaps I am astonished and the affection you show to me constantly.
Mayhaps I am fearful of the emotional display I make for you.
Lady-person I am alarmed at the way you displace my temporal function.
Maybe I'm Amazed-Paul McCartney
"This oration is my poetry performance, and I am of the opinion that it is essential to speak in a rhythmical nature, yes, with the corrent timing of the lyrics, it's difficult, but I shall begin.
It is very difficult to speak in a rhythmical nature, to speak in a rhythmical nature, and ensure the correct timing of the lyrics, yes, it is difficult, difficult, difficult.
I became acquainted with a young woman, she had hair that was a little on the curly side. I visited her domicile and managed to enable her to sneak out without her parents' permission, but I needed to depart before I was ready to.
Women like these tend to be of a questionable moral nature, they persistently request that I should satisfy them sexually, or alternatively make the effort to perform a poem for them, but I told them "it is not as simple as you may think."
It is very difficult to speak in a rhythmical nature, to speak in a rhythmical nature, and ensure the correct timing of the lyrics. (What is it like, D?) It is difficult, difficult, difficult."
Tricky, Run DMC
"This song is for the audience closest to the stage, in the area that causes nasal sanguination.
This song is for everyone who is enjoying the music coming from the speakers, those closest to the stage, so much so that they may occasionally be sprayed with my saliva.
Making an analogy, the baseball batsmen are sitting on the sideline bench, and I am ready to pitch the ball, and yes, my band is doing well in this game.
We are the best in the music business: Better than funk; we will defeat punk in any competition. Our music causes the sound spectrum meters on the mixing desk to rise and fall in time with the music in a splendid fashion, the audience can not live without us.
Join in with our jumping, especially those closest to the stage. If you like our style of music, please join us for some alcoholic beverages.
My situation in life now is completely unlike what I had envisioned many years ago. Why not? I had intended to purchase some property, and to have savings in the bank, in the range of fifty thousand dollars.
Instead I do not have a thing, whilst riding public transport I compose poetry and songs, woe is me. I am completely against hardcore illicit drugs, they cause one's nose to drip. Drugs are for the women of questionable morality that enjoy punk music.
What we use instead is our music, and it is specifically for my good friends, and those in the audience standing closest to the stage."
The Nosebleed Section, The Hilltop Hoods
HAHAHA
"I catch slow kids and set them on fire."
"hour of the mallet"
"This fellow is attestant to this (Indeed)"
best.game.ever.
vast spances matching or exceeding the distance twixt galaxies,
in a manner of or limited to a single stellar globe
an additional plane of existence
bid me not to look gaily upon you
should you remain present, positive returns will be administered by myself
I have integers beyond your capacity to input
perhaps this is due to my adaptibility...
Beastie Boys - Intergalactic
At this moment, ladies
We're going to pause to let this song come to a climax.
Do not make me pause my vocalizations to make sure you're utilizing this time in a manner I find enjoyable.
I would like to see you perform sexually suggestive acts.
Act in a manner that is pleasing.
Pretend you know me well.
Let this proceed.
Gyrate. (x5)
Gyrate.(x 5)
Gyrate as if you were an outdated method of instant photography.
Hey Ya-Outkast
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