Appearances
Honestly I'm gettin' kinda nervous about going to this "Snakes on a Plane" Hollywood thing. What if Paris Hilton is there? What if it is all awkward? One thing's for sure -- this is gonna be the weirdest week of my life so far, and this is from a guy that is me.
Oh, one other thing! The proto-type for the stuffed Joanna has been completed! She is made of minky, and minky feels like what I assume unicorn fur feels like. Just got some minor tweaks and in a few short weeks you will be able to own your very own hand-made Joanna doll with free martini glass!
33 Comments:
ahhh. " The Unbearable Lightness of Joanna." Existental, Heimwehlich czech writers ain't got nothin' on stuffed, fuzzy drunken kitty kats.
Okay. First off, don't worry too much about your clothing when going to the movie premiere. From what I've heard, people who go to movie premieres will not be looking at you most of the time; they will, in fact, be looking at the movie screen. Also, remember that it's going to be pretty dark in that theater. (If you really must stress over the subject, though, rent one of those Gene Autry cowboy get-ups to satisfy your fans. Don't forget to wear the ten-gallon hat while you watch the movie, just to annoy the guy behind you!)
Secondly, that Joanna toy is about four or five of the coolest things ever. Rest assured, they will sell like hotcakes. In fact, they will sell better than hotcakes, since giving your nephew a wad of lukewarm flapjacks to cuddle isn't always the most appealing option.
Good luck! If you see David Hyde Pierce, tell him I said hi.
~IJ
know what's classy?
tuxedo shirt.
works every time.
I'm not worried about the movie in the theater, I'm worried about the time when I am gonna be on the "red carpet" doing interviews and getting photographed and stuff. Seriously I have to check in with New Line and I am going to be escorted down the red carpet.
Good call on the Tuxedo shirt! with the gene autry cowboy hat and star studded assless chaps.
Now there's a classy fella...
Wow. It is like I am looking at a comic but it is real life!
It's always scary to go do something new and different, especially if it involves mingling with the aristocracy. Just remember: they're just as scared of you as you are of them.
Also, the Joanna doll is just great.
Jeffrey, you must set up a page specifically for the quadrillions of pictures you receive of stuffed Joannae surrounded by half-empty liquor bottles. I am serious about this. If you do not do this, my wrath will be inconceivable.
Dude, you turned an internet joke into the biggest movie of the year. You are going to have thousands of people clamoring over stuffed Joannas. You are going to be huge.
Well, More huge. Word on the street is that your you have to get your under wear specially made and you have to get a tailor to let out the crotch on your pant.
yeeessss! the stuffed joanna looks exactly (as in awesomely two-dimensionally) like i hoped/imagined...only somehow better.
and good luck in hollywood! carefully guard your neck, lest the vampires turn you!
Make a tshirt that says 'fuck hollywood.' That should do it.
If paris hilton is there you just gotta sex her up. Watch out for the STDs though.
But seriously Jeff, there's only one thing to wear. The snakes on a plane shirt. But you gotta make a special design that says "I MADE THIS, AND I MADE ALL OF YOU F*$KS" on it.
love the Joanna, seriously sweet. Also, seconding the modified ownzor snakes-on-a-plane shirt as red carpet wear.
Covered with liquor bottles. Oh man.
Show up drunk and dressed...as a plane. Then run up and down the red carpet like it is a runway all MREEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW POWPOWPOWPOWPOW DIE PARIS HILTON.
My end of the year winter holiday gift-receiving wishlist:
Joanna from Overcompensating
Diablo from Goats
Bender from Futurama
Fruit Fucker 5000 from PA (hopefully they unveil it at PAX)
J-RO,
i vote you wear the SOAP shirt, with a blazer and jeans. a trucker hat would be a good head accesory. as for footwear, you cant never go wrong with sandals (without socks). unless you got fungi or open sores, in which case please wear cowboy boots. also, carry a live boa constrictor around your neck. dont worry, there are plenty of failed actresses and strippers who own boas that will hapily let you borrow them if you promise to pass around their head shot.
That's a good idea except you whould wear your "It's ON now" shirt instead. Because anyone who sees that shirt HAS to own it. You should have a big sack of Snakes Flying a Plane shirts and toss them to people like Joan Rivers, who, upon receiving it, will realize that fashion is totally arbitrary and she's been wasting her life.
I think if you have an old school Marvirck shirt you can bust out that would be the best. I agree with the blazer and jeans though. Have a blast!
You should stay in character and show up shirtless.
Joe: Just remember: they're just as scared of you as you are of them.
We need a "celebrity petting zoo".
the Joanna is fyarkin amazing and of course drunk and reading the unbearable lightness of being.
liquor+kundera=awesome
as for movie premiere fashion... it is always a mix of tuxes (for the old dudes that come from a time when all men owned tuxes), armani suits (for the younger or middle aged men who have no fashion sense) and then there are the folks that just throw on somethin "stylish".
i would stay away from sandals though.
I really like the way she's held up with scissors--it looks like she is about to run with them, but slowly and stumbly, riddled with alcohol. I love her face, and I could use a free martini glass, so thanks.
It doesn't matter what you wear really. Just dress however and go with it. I think jeans are the way, but "follow your heart." (Just because you have a lot of options doesn't mean it is an important decision to make. Clothes just make you un-nude.)
fuck it go in drag
Milan is a vital step in the progress of every young existentialist right in between the "Doors / Jim Morrison" stage and the"Camus' / Outsider" stage.
I have to second the SNakes flying a plane T-shirt with blazer and jeans. classy but comfortable
I would definitley have to second (third? eighth?) the Snakes Flying A Plane t-shirt/black blazer/jeans combonation. Show them Hollywood folk how it's done!
Of course, it would be more Jeffrey Rowland, Cowboy Poet-y to show up shirtless, tattoos a-blazin'. Paris Hilton would faint on sight.
In a slightly different vein, I cannot wait for the Joanna dolls to go on sale! I have a feeling that my Ugly Doll, Herberta, would find her a most excellent companion.
P.S. You should show up at the premiere with Joanna under your arm.
I'll watch for your Joan Rivers interview on E! >:D
I'll also be first in line for a stuffed Joanna. She's a must.
Oh my. That truly is a beautiful thing.
In an update on my last comment:
WOOOO! I can take my music on the plane again!
That squishy Joanna should totally feature in a live-action overcompensating.
I've never seen anyone that wants you to see pictures of their cat.
But there certainly are a lot of people that want you see pictures of their puss...*dragged off stage by large hook*
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
You should actually take the stuffed Joanna prototype to the premiere and walk up the carpet with her under your arm. That's what I reckon, anyway.
My roommate likens me to this cat. because i'm Joanna and i'm drunk all the time. and i'm green. now i come here everyday, i wuv it.
Joanna
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