The World of Crime
Without a doubt the most inspiring thing I saw over the weekend was this list of California Penal Codes and bail amounts. The fact is that each one of these offenses are on the list because they are something that someone has actually done. People are buck wild by nature and it is hard to stop them from their natural urges.
This comic was pretty late because of a lot of other things I had to do first.
38 Comments:
Baby looks kind of like Madonna in the "American Life" video.
Don't worry about the comic being a little late, J-Ro. We understand that you have a life separate and apart from making webcomics on the Internet, a life that requires things like sleep, food and lodgings in order to sustain it. Even people who are awesome need to time to breathe. So no worries, then :)
Note that on the graph, several thousand people have gone BACK IN TIME.
Perhaps this has something to do with the astonishing lack of Mr. Fusions these days?
PENAL CODE 247.5
DISCHARGING LASER AT AIRCRAFT
BAIL $ 25,000
awesome
my brother done a lot of stuff in one night going buck wild on cazadores. he had a sparkling record 'til then and he went scot-free
Actually, it has been proven that people going buck wild is exactly the cause of many international conflicts (approximately 40% of all international conflicts to be exact). And people going buck wild is directly related to higher youth populations.
Horray for the youth. We will be our own demise!
286(f):
SODOMY - VICTIM NOT CONSCIOUS OF ACT
$ 50,000
Wooooah there.
i wanna discharge my penal code
who wants to bond out my penal code
my penal code is bigger than yours
yeah that's right i'm disrespecting your penal code
you can straight suck my penal code if you can even fit it in your mouth
Now that's champagne comedy.
STATE PRISON INMATE COMMITTING BATTERY UPON STATE PRISON OFFICER OR EMPLOYEE BY THROWING, OR CAUSING TO BE PLACED OR THROWN, A MIXTURE OF HUMAN EXCREMENT OR OTHER BODILY FLUIDS OR SUBSTANCES
penal code ha ha ha... that cracks me up.
210.5 FALSE IMPRISONMENT, USING PERSON AS SHIELD $100,000
I love how that is actually a category
''Even people who are awesome need to time to breathe. So no worries, then :) ''
But its Damn good to have you back :D
Why is bail only half as expensive if you kidnap a 13 year old for sexual assault as for an adult?
Oooh Baby! I wish I was handy with a pen. I could draw Baby in my own comic. My own "special" comic just for me.
RAPE IN CONCERT WITH FORCE OR VIOLENCE
That must've been some concert...
ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY WEAPON OR FORCE... $15,000
That's pretty tough on the Jedi knights. And the computer geeks who think they are Jedi knights.
Baby looks smokin' today
I'm wondering what exactly Mayhem is defined as and how I can cause it; preferably of the aggravated variety.
405b LYNCHING $ 10,000
waitaminute.... lynching does not count as murder??? i guess that 3/5ths a person thing still counts in california.... :/
PIMPING
- UNDER AGE 16
so who is under 16, the pimp or the ho?
Man, I am totally re-thinking my plan to DEFRAUD AN INNKEEPER now. Maybe I'll just go and swindle the village blacksmith instead.
SODOMY - VICTIM UNDER 16
$ 5,000
SODOMY - VICTIM UNDER 14
$ 50,000
Man, wait til she's 15, at least. Dang.
This is possibly the best thing ever. Keep up the good work
Actually I was once arrested for violating the penile code while going buck wild. It's on my record forever and I'm not even ashamed.
J.Ro - is "Operating A Blind Tiger" still against the law in your country?
I like how mayhem is only worth $30 grand, but aggravated mayhem will cost you a cool million.
J-Ro Said...
"Without a doubt the most inspiring thing I saw over the weekend was this list of California Penal Codes and bail amounts ... This comic was pretty late because of a lot of other things I had to do first."
Uh-huh, we understand, Jeffrey. Or should I call you...Buck Wilde?
ANNOYING OR MOLESTING CHILD UNDER 18
It's the OR that messes things up.
Bookmaking is a crime?
I'm confused.
I wonder if anyone has ever been charged with the annoying a child under 18 years of age. "Mayhem" is an assault that leads to the loss of a body part, like an ear or a finger or whatnot. somebody once threatened to kick my ass and whatnot, and I took off, because I was worried for my whatnot's safety.
Bring back Neil! He could hook Quincy up with a smokin van! He could repair those flying cars! J.Ro just figgers that he'd steal Baby right away, man.
Threatening a family member of a public official racks you up for $250,000, whereas "credible threat to use a weapon of mass destruction" (presumably against us regular folk) only gets you $100,000 bail. Cause we know whose lives are more important.
To California's credit, however, if you actually USE a WMD, then your bail goes to a cool million.
11418(b)1 USE OF WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION AGAINST A PERSON
Damn. So if some fool walks up and is startin' something, what am I supposed to do if I can't drop a nuke on 'is fool head? DAMN THE MAN!
ARSON - WITH GREAT BODILY INJURY
$ 30,000
UNLAWFULLY CAUSING A FIRE - WITH GREAT BODILY INJURY $15,000
wait, what?
Arson = deliberately starting a fire with the intent to destroy property.
"Unlawfully causing a fire" can be accidental, like when your cig tossed out the window lights a wildfire that destroys a subdivision.
Bookmaking means running a betting operation.
337a - BOOKMAKING
Now I think I know what this is, but at first glance it seems that California doesn't allow you to make books.
lynching is the act of removing people from police custody. Sometimes you hang them, sometimes you all go out for drinks.
" Why is bail only half as expensive if you kidnap a 13 year old for sexual assault as for an adult?"
It isn't. They add the bail for plain old kidnapping for sexual assault on top of the kidnapping a 13 year old for sexual assault.
Post a Comment
<< Home