We Can't Have Nice Things
Well that was a dumb birthday! Thanks to all you inter net friends for helping me have a great e-birthday! Much better than the bio-world birthday. Thank you e-friends!
I thought about getting one of those Sidekicks or Blackberries or a PSP or an iPod or something like that but seriously the more something costs the faster I destroy it. I have this cheap Rio Nitrus MP3 player and I still have it because I hate it. I have a two-year old refurbished Nokia cell phone that talks good and a four-year-old digital camera that takes good pictures. Everything I love that is expensive turns to crap. It's not intentional, it just happens.
41 Comments:
If I get this job I'm applying for I would get a Blackberry for free. That means I'm that much more likely to destroy it than if I paid for it myself, screwing myself over more because I would need it for work!
What I am saying is that I can't be trusted with things either. -- jessie
Don't be too hasty with that shotgun now Jeff. Sometimes when those things get soaked, they just need to dry out for a week or so and they're right as rain. Ask anyone whose cell phone has fallen in the toilet. Not that I would know from personal experience...
Thank you for finally promoting a positive message about marijuana use.
I, too, destroy everything I touch, like a reverse Midas. Especially umbrellas ("unbrakeable my backside!"). Am I the only person who thinks of compact 'brellas as those expandable monkey staffs that are fun to swing around? Inexplicably, my NeoGeoPocketColor is still in perfect working condition even though I love it to death.
buy a broken iPod for a few dollars, then treat it soooo terribly it turns back to unbroken.
Seeing Weedmaster P without red eyes is like seeing Jeff without his tattoos.
Would you fuckers stop noticing P's eyes all the time!!!
It's like... DAMNIT!
I thought something looked weird about P, he looks uber creepy without his red eyes.
HOVER YOUR MOUSE OVER THE COMIC
I DO THAT FOR A REASON
I bet you came up with the idea to shoot the phone while playing shotgun golf.
I miss HST.
cell phones are lame. mine only ever goes off when i am in class because i hardly ever get calls so i forget to turn it off but then of corse someone decides to call me when i'm in class. once i moved seats during intermission and my phone went off... it was so loud. i have it set on the loudest setting cuz i never hear it. and then there was the time i brought it with me but forgot and i had voicemail and it just kept on beeping through class. i turned to the girl behind me and said... whoever's phone that is is really obnoxious. cell phones are lame.
Thank you for the real story on cell phones, deirdre. Even if the truth hurts, it is still the truth. --TH
Do you even have pockets in the second panel?
I must say I approve of Jeff and Baby's deckchair. I bet Jeff bought it and Baby hates it.
Speaking of that panel, I love the way that Jeff seamlessly blended the comic foreground with the photo background. It is really top notch.
Forgot the ever constant dropping your cellphone in a bowl of cereal while hungover.
Cracklin' Oat Bran is the nemesis of cellphones.
murphy's law rules my life too and it's my birthday tomorrow. weird.
Baby's bikini top is about to come off from the middle out.
Jeff you could just get a new Audiovox phone? They're as shitty as a two-year-old refurb Nokia but have fewer features.
I bet that the old Nokia survives the shotgun blast. I remember the first cellphone I ever had, it had been my dad's an he gave it to me when he got a new one, it was an old Nokia (we're talking 1997 here), and that thing was as tough as anything. I don't know how many times I dropped it, and it barely even got scratched.
I'm glad to see Weedmaster P made a full recovery.
By the way, is it my imagination or is Wigu rockin' a Chas Tenenbaum tracksuit these days?
Jeff when that pos nitrus starts crashing whenever it trys to play a song, it is not because you broke it. it is because it is crap. just turn it over, and smack it with the palm of your hand as hard as you can. like my women, i try not to hit my electronics, but sometimes it just works.
-shoshot
I swear that every portable device I handle somehow manages to turn to a fine powder of nonworkingness. Well, except for Game Boys. Game Boys are freaking indestructible.
I wonder if anyone ever tried to make a suit of armor out of Game Boys. I bet it'd work pretty dang well, better than bubble wrap even.
My phone turned into a big robot and started shouting about destroying the world so I had it shut off. BTW don't shoot phones 'cause the batteries are poison. You should shoot Backstreet Boys CDs instead because that cleans up the environment.
I dropped my new and shiny cell phone in the toilet four days after I bought it.
Then I bought a cheap Qualcomm or something rather that they don't make anymore because it was bought out by Kyocera on Ebay and had it for, like, a year and a half before my contract ran out and I got a new cellphone for free.
I stepped on my old cell phone while changing in the locker room. The screen got all cracked. And the new one, exactly the same except for blue and gold, I have dropped it numerous times but it is mostly okay.
My iPod mini is indestricible kinda though. I probably have hurt it lots without realizing, but one time at school i dropped it from my hand to the hard concrete sidewalk (2'6"?). And it just has a tiny scratch thing on the bottom where it fell on to. But besides that it is okey dokey. I have no idea why I am telling you ,but bybeye.
I used to have this phone... and i would drop it all the time, and every time i dropped it... you know, the prescribed 2.5 feet from my hand to the ground... it would explode. like it broke into all these pieces and it was like a fun little puzzle to put back together. and one time, i was at best buy, and i went up to the phone counter, and the lady was asking me what kind of phone i have, and i pulled my phone out of my pocket, and dropped it, but my husband swears i threw it at her, and it exploded, and she got really upset. it was awesome. my husband had one just like it, and he washed it in the laundry and the battery quit holding a charge. my sister also had one, because they were our free gift with any purchase of a 2 year family plan... anyway, my sister's just quit working. like.... the microphone quit working... so people would call her, and she could hear them, but they couldn't hear her, so we had to get this secret code, where i would call her and ask a question, and then she would call me back and let it ring a certain number of times for the answer...... cell phones add excitement to our otherwise sad and dull lives.
Weedmaster P has learned his lesson, and no longer plays with lightsabers and shotguns while stoned.
Man, I have that phone. Once I tossed it to someone and it was so heavy that he got hurt and decided to burn the screen with a cigarette.
My StarTAC is so old, I see Fox Mulder using it on X-Files reruns.
Thing is, this is my second one. I got it last ear. The old one just plain wore out.
I mean year.
When I Googled 'REAL ITCHY BUTT' I got a link back to this post . . . but I hadn't posted it yet. It's a time-travel paradox. This means that in the future, googling 'real itchy butt' would return this page as the number one hit!
I am SO not using my real name on this one.
My friend used to have tv shooting parties, back in the day. They'd have a bonfire, some old furniture, wornout tvs and a long extension cord. When the flames got high enough, and the crowd, they'd plug in the old tvs and open fire. "Goodnight John-boy," they'd shout as they volleyed, "Goodnight David, Goodnight Chet." BLAM! They'd throw the bottle caps in the fire, too. Weedmaster P would have fit right in.
Man, that is some seriously f##ed up stuff. You should shoot CDs instead of tvs, because you can throw CDs like clay pigeons and when you shoot them you are getting rid of music you hate seriously, while tvs are just trying to find their sexual identity in a cold cruel world that makes fun of them. Wait a minute - what? Not transvestites? Televisions? Oops.
Never mind!
Do you know how many people pronounce Nokia as "Mokia" or "Nok-i-oya"? Its "NO-KEY-AH," people!
I hear they've got this great new learning tool called Hooked on Phoenics. I suggest everyone who can't pronounce Nokia correctly check it out.
Do you say "Foe-nix"?
I just can't get over how freaking aweXome panel 3 is. I really really really like that panel! It's become an unhealthy obsession.
I seriously saw one of those things get run over by a car today while in several pieces and then still be working.
It was nuts.
Uh yeah. I was hooked on Phoenix for a while but I kicked it clean.
I saw a Nokia executive on television and he pronounced it KNOCK-ee-yah. Those crazy Finns...can't even pronounce the name of their own company right.
All these posts about dropping the phone in the toilet... here's a thought: stop talking on the phone when you're taking a leak.
I seem to take fair care of most things, if I don't lose them first. People make fun of me because I leave my Jukebox on the floor in a mess, but I have a handle on things.
I second Gleemonex's comment about the fantastic blending on panel 2.
my birthday kicked your birthday's ass, FROM ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE. most of it was spent in a tattoo shop and then a gay bar.
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