Jeffrey Rowland's OVERCOMPENSATING
topatoco

31 December 2004

Kangaroo Maurice



I think this would make a great movie plot actually! Think about it -- Two childhood friends, a New York hairstylist and a would-be musician, get caught up with the mob and are forced to deliver $50,000 to Australia, but things go haywire when the money is lost to a wild kangaroo.

51 Comments:

Schazade said...

Yay! You have a sword. You officially rule now.

31/12/04 17:24  
Anonymous said...

Dear Jeff,

I'm no stickler, but for your own information the rule regarding plurals that already end in "s" has changed. Now, to avoid confusion, it is always apostrophe "s," and never just apostrophe.

Thus it should read: "I have to get my mafia boss's money back..."

At least that's how I understand it.

31/12/04 17:32  
fluffy said...

Sounds familiar. Which also sounded pretty familiar.

31/12/04 17:35  
Anonymous said...

Be sure to talk like Michael Caine and get Sub Girl and Jet Girl's help.

31/12/04 18:17  
Foiba said...

Thanks for being a jackass, Anonymous! People don't realize that Jeff misspells every single word he utters or writes down.

You saved the internet! Thank God that you came around. Good thing you also did this during the holiday season because you also saved Christmas.

31/12/04 18:34  
Anonymous said...

Wow, Foiba, you've got some anger issues. I was merely trying to enlighten the good Mr. Rowland. If I'd known the hounds would be released I would have kept it to myself.

On the other hand, my mother will be tickled to find that I saved her favorite holiday.

Now if you'll excuse me I've got to go cry myself to sleep.

31/12/04 18:50  
Anonymous said...

But they totally changed it. The 2002 bi-annual spelling congress overturned the preceding rule.

If someone doesn't abide by the congress's decision, then their license will be revoked.

31/12/04 18:53  
Anonymous said...

There are no more wild kangaroos. We were forced to domesticate them all to work in the lamington mines

31/12/04 22:19  
xercess said...

the opposite of congress is progress

:mindfuck:

31/12/04 22:30  
Anonymous said...

Wow, _the_ Jeff Rowland is coming to my country! If the warm weather and beaches are too much for you, come to Melbourne, we don't have any of that.

1/1/05 01:28  
Anonymous said...

I never saw it, but I have to imagine Kangaroo Jack would have been 10 times better if someone used a shotgun and a sword. And Jeff in it would have gotten it the friggin' Oscar.

1/1/05 01:45  
The Bob Talbot said...

Come a little bit closer, baby,

(get it on, get it on)

Cause tonight, is the night, when 2 become 1.

1/1/05 04:58  
Ray Radlein said...

I'm no stickler, but for your own information the rule regarding plurals that already end in "s" has changed. Now, to avoid confusion, it is always apostrophe "s," and never just apostrophe.Actually, you are slightly confused: Those are not the rules for plural possessives; they are, however, the 1987 Edition Revised International Rules for Full-Contact Jenga!, as approved by the Federation Internationalle Des Autruches Du Jenga. They were first used competitively at the 1989 Coup du Jenga Tournament in Marseilles. There were 29 fatalities.

1/1/05 05:11  
Anonymous said...

Bob... Spice Girls? Why?

1/1/05 12:53  
Anonymous said...

My uncle lost an eye in that tournament, we had to put him down. When you get to Austalia be sure to try some Australian cuisine, like Chinese food, or Mexican, American, or even Japanese. Yep, nothing like Australian food.

1/1/05 13:52  
Anonymous said...

Tonight's the night we make history...
Honey, you and I.

Australia is going to be way better with you in it. Have a great trip and pet a koala for all of us.

1/1/05 13:56  
Blackstone said...

I dont think this movie would be to good, unless the kangaroo is some escaped science experiment or something of that nature. Also he should have a can of beets for a head and there could be a part where his head is opened and puppies come out with flower collars. That would make it a better movie.

1/1/05 17:55  
samsm said...

> always apostrophe "s," and never just apostrophe

Screw you Harbrace, make up your mind. What's that Strunk? What are you laughing about over there in the corner? That's right, you better hide your face.

1/1/05 22:10  
leigh said...

http://wigu.com/?date=20021123

ah-HAAAA!

1/1/05 23:51  
Goose said...

Alright. The apostrophe rule, from someone who writes for a living.

Singular word ending in s: add 's to make possessive
Example: my boss's money

Plural word, ends in s: just add an apostrphe to the end to make it possessive, no "s" after the apostrophe
Example: up on the hill is the Rowlands' house

2/1/05 00:51  
Anonymous said...

BE REASONABLE, PEOPLE! LET'S NOT TURN THIS INTO A FORUM!

2/1/05 02:34  
Anonymous said...

Pension off the apostrophe, they didn't seem to need it in the 15th and 16th centuries and from what I've read in the last few decades, writing hasn't exactly been an upwardly evolving art.

But "Oh noes!" you cry, "How will mah homiez tel if i m usin teh plurals or possessions form?"

"Context!" cry the gods of language. And that is that, my friends.

2/1/05 02:48  
fluffy said...

Also, "boss's" would have the huge taboo of three of the same letter in a row. But in this case, you can also tell the singular vs. the plural because it's the singular form of the word.

Boss' = singular possessive
Bosses' = plural possessive

The reason the plural possessive puts the ' after the s is because the plural form of a word already ends in s.

Also, most English rules are just rules of thumb, not hard-and-fast, what with English being a pretty freakish conglomeration of lots of different languages. I mean, each languages' rules are different, and so this language's rules are kind of spotty at best to begin with.

Also, don't forget that 's can also be the contraction form of "is" or "has," e.g. "The cat's out of the bag" or "The cat's got a new little mouse friend." And don't even get me started on pronouns.

2/1/05 04:39  
Ray Radlein said...

Jenga!Ouch! Aw crap, my eye! Damn!

2/1/05 05:55  
Waff-Box Cooled Brain Bot 1.4v said...

I suggest you just decline the noun. Since we're not really assigning a sex to "boss", I suggest "bossi", with a long "i" sound, or "bossis". How does Latin connect to kangaroos and revenge? It's well known that the poet Catullus was beaten to death by a rogue marsupial in the wilds of Gaul. you are simply culminating a centuries-old vendetta that began with the Romans.

2/1/05 13:25  
Anonymous said...

People, please. Let it go and just enjoy the comic, ok?

3/1/05 04:19  
Ray Radlein said...

But if we decline our nouns, all we will be able to accept are verbs and adjectives and the like. But we won't know that, because "verb" and "adjective" are both nouns.

3/1/05 04:29  
Anonymous said...

The next person to talk about nouns, verbs or freaking adjectives (or adverbs or pronouns or conjunctions or interjections) will get a brand new spanking free of charge castoration (if you are a man)
If you are a woman, we will merely force your face down a garborator.
That is right!
Free of charge. Can you believe it?
Order Now and you will also get the frontal lobotomy at half price.
Thats a 3000 dollar value, just for being a retard and talking about grammar on a comic blog site.
--------------------------------------------------------

Jeff should totally go ninja by the way, I think they should add him to mortal combat. He would be the best handlebar mustached fighter ever. (exept for all those asian dudes who actually know how to fight.)

3/1/05 08:47  
Brock said...

I assume I am the only one that had to read that twice before I realised it didn't say raping Kangaroo.

I'm not sure if this says something about Jeff - in that I consider that to have been a reasonable thing to have written - or something about me, in that it didn't jump out at me as being obviously TOO FUCKING WEIRD until I read it through the second time.

Hmmmm.

3/1/05 09:41  
Anonymous said...

my favorite review of this comic

http://www-tech.mit.edu/V122/N65/kangaroo_jack.65a.html

3/1/05 10:50  
Dark Apathy said...

" I assume I am the only one that had to read that twice before I realised it didn't say raping Kangaroo."No, unfortunately you were not the only one.
It must be Jeff

What is with the grammar debate??

3/1/05 16:39  
Syme said...

A Kangaroo once stole my briefcase, by the time I realised he'd changed he locks on my house and taken my job and my girlfriend.
You just have to be carefull.
And here in Darwin (NT Australia) you have to make sure not to tell anyone incase Paul Hogan makes a movie about it.

3/1/05 19:37  
Spiderbaby said...

Sub Girl and Jet Girl? Jeff would need Tank Girl for sure. We all need Tank Girl.

I get lonely sometimes.

3/1/05 20:46  
Ray Radlein said...

Man, the last time a kangaroo broke into my house, he took every last thing I owned, and replaced it with an identical duplicate.

4/1/05 04:55  
Anonymous said...

Michael Caine is pretty cool. I liked it when he used to place ads in local papers for people who needed to be saved from the evil machinations of multi-national corporations... and kangaroos.

That was a cool thing for Micheal Caine to do.

4/1/05 16:57  
Syme said...

Michael Caine?!?!? Silly people, that's a Kangaroo ploy if I've ever heard of one.
I bet no one ever heard from anyone who answered the ads ever again.
You don't think the same guy who was in "Alfie" won the best supporting actor years later do you?
All a Kangaroo plot.

4/1/05 21:43  
Anonymous said...

Six White Boomers, Snow White Boomers
Racing Santa Claus through the Blazing Sun

Six White...
On Santa's Australian Run...

5/1/05 05:48  
Anonymous said...

Micheal Caine used to drive around in this sweet Jaguar and answer the voice-mails left on a non-tracable phone line from people who were being exploited by the man. Then he and his squad of ex-MI5/CIA/Interpol/Salvation Army/DOT dudes would shoot and blow up things that were important to the multi-national corporations thus saving the poor exploited people who answered his ad in the local paper and sending the message to said companies of "F OFF, MAN! WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE."

Actually, now that you mention it I think there was a kangaroo that was part of his squad. Hmmm...

5/1/05 14:49  
Anonymous said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think Michael Caine was ever on "The Equalizer." I do, however, think we need more superpowered old people.

5/1/05 16:06  
Anonymous said...

Terribly sorry, but "The Equalizer?" Not sure what you are referring to but it sounds like the name of some cheezy '80's television show with a Micheal Caine wannabe. My references were to the REAL Micheal Caine and his selfless exercises in stomping out the exploitation of the little people by the likes of demonic corporate boards of governance and nasty CFO's who think that by jacking up the rent on tenements in suburban Cleveland or Scranton they can improve their stock performance.

There was a point when life was much more simple.

5/1/05 16:52  
Anonymous said...

I'm glad SOMEONE finally got the Tank Girl reference.

5/1/05 18:16  
Anonymous said...

How about a new comic?

5/1/05 19:54  
Anonymous said...

Aww, who needs a new comic when you have a sprawling message board of a comment section?

6/1/05 01:26  
David Streever said...

"I'm no stickler, but for your own information"

You're right, you aren't a stickler, you're a JERKHow nice of you all to HELP poor stupid savage Jeff, who can't even get up in the morning, I think maybe he is functionally retarded. He can't talk, he can't walk, heey! He sure can make that there inter-web cartoon you all dang enjoy so much!

I think Jeff beat up people like you in high school. That's my theory. My other theory is that no one--no one--cares what you think, not even your mother. You are not a unique and precious snowflake.

6/1/05 11:46  
Anonymous said...

Michael Caine is a precious snowflake.

6/1/05 18:39  
Mr. Koshchei said...

I thought there was' some rule about the use of the apostrophe during the third of the non-leap-months' ending in "y" after a leap-month where each word ending with "s" was' supposed to be apostrophized. Plus' the ass' on that stewardess' is' hella boss'.

7/1/05 06:53  
Dave said...

Wouldn't a huge case of kangaroo repellant make it hard to get close to the kangaroo and take back the money?

Yeah, I know. I can't watch cartoons either.

7/1/05 13:58  
Anonymous said...

my life is hell without you, oh overcompensating! please return!

deirdre

7/1/05 15:52  
Anonymous said...

Oh, yes. It is hard to compensate.

Jeff might be astunnededed, by the Wonders of his Travels. ...& the Water?...& the Water? It might have Stoned him to his Soul...or sumpin?

9/1/05 04:50  
Anonymous said...

I was really shocked until I read 'rapping' correctly.

11/1/05 18:29  
Anonymous said...

I guess with so many them around, "Mike" is a good codename.
-- GP(MPK)
www.murpheek.com

13/1/05 13:40  

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